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Thanks for the Blessings

As I started the Thankful Series last week, I wrote about our human need for someone to be thankful to! Some people thank their lucky stars, some thank the Universe, some thank “the breaks”, but we all realize that there are times when things go well, when it all seems to break our way, when we’re blessed so much more than we deserve, that we simply need someone to thank. It’s a glad thing for people of faith, for believers, that we can be thankful to God!

I’ve begun recognizing as I’ve focused on Gratitude and Thankfulness that I find stages or qualities of Thankfulness in myself. I’m talking about:

• • Circumstantial Thankfulness – Thanks for the blessings!
  • Comparative Thankfulness – Well, I guess it could be worse!
  • Thankfulness In All Things – In Everything Give Thanks
  • Whole Life Thankfulness – I’m Thankful for my life!

I’m becoming convinced it’s not necessarily a linear progression from one kind of Thankfulness to the other. It can be parts of all of them, or it can be one kind for one situation and another kind for another. And it can be most or all of these at the same time for me.

In Fact, as I’ve been writing this post, I’ve been processing through so many different levels of Thankfulness!

Health Update:

1) Last Thursday I had my “one-month of treatment” cancer check-up. My oncologist told me that the numbers that should go down are beginning to go down and a couple of the numbers we want to go up are climbing. He said, “What we wanted to happen is happening. This helps us toward a good prognosis!”

2) Jean had a successful surgery to repair her broken leg/ankle on Monday, May 18. She’s recovering well at home with minimal pain so far. She has more mobility than any time in the two weeks since the break occurred. It’s looking good! Our daughter Melissa and her husband Colin have been looking after us. They’ve been coming over to help get Jean out of the house and into the car when we need to go for medical stuff. Our daughter Stephanie is with us this week to help out and give me a break. Son-in-law Philip set up our Alexa so Jean can reach me in any room in the house from her headquarters in the living room. Life is good!

So many of you have written, texted, phoned, and emailed words of hope and encouragement! Many have given financially to help with the unexpected expenses of my illness and Jean’s injury! A Meal Train team from our church has been providing evening meals most days. Please be patient with us if we’re slow to acknowledge and respond. Your responses have been overwhelming in a very good way! We love and appreciate you all very much!

This week’s blog post is going to focus on Circumstantial Thankfulness – “Thanks for the Blessings”. It’s a good starting place, because blessings are usually easy to identify and they’re really nice to receive! They make us glad. They make us blessed. They make  us, well, Thankful!

Here are some verses from Psalm 30, written by Shepherd/King David to praise and thank God for his blessings. Let’s see what David has to say….

1 I will exalt you, LORD, for you rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me. 2 O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored my health. 3 You brought me up from the grave, O LORD. You kept me from falling into the pit of death. 4 Sing to the LORD, all you godly ones! Praise his holy name. 5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. (Psalm 30:1–5 NLT)

How’s it going, David? OK so far! I had some challenges, in fact some really scary stuff happened and I prayed and asked God for help and he fixed everything! Should be alright from here forward. Some bad guys (my enemies) were out to get me, but God could tell that I’m a good guy and they were bad to the bone, so he rescued me!

This is genuine thankfulness! David faced some big challenges and God helped him. Everything was going great! The one possible problem I see here is that when we stay too long in Circumstantial Thankfulness, we can begin to get the idea, and even project that idea to others, that we got the good stuff because we deserve the good stuff. It’s too easy to start thinking, “Look at me! No wonder I’m blessed! I am, in fact, the most blessable person I know!”

Our attitude can take on overtones of: “Be good like me and trouble, if it comes, won’t last long!  Here’s how you do this stuff.  Glad I figured this out.  Now we’ve got it pretty much under control!”

It’s really good to be thankful for God’s blessings! I remember a line from an old hymn we sang at church years ago: “Count your many blessings, Name them one by one, Count your many blessings, See what God has done!” Counting our blessings, being specific about the ways God has blessed us, and acknowledging that our lives are made rich by the goodness of God helps us in so many ways. It moves us from scarcity thinking to abundance thinking. It moves us from focus on what we don’t have to what do we have. It makes us thankful for blessing and it increases our faith for God’s provision. It leads from thankfulness for what God has done to praise for who God is to us. It’s good!

But the caution I see here is two-fold: If we are only thankful when the blessings overflow, 1) We can get stuck in Circumstantial Thankfulness where we are only thankful when everything is great, and 2) We can develop an Entitlement Attitude.

When we develop an Entitlement Attitude, we can start thinking: I’m one of the good guys! I’m obviously pleasing God. Look how he’s blessing me. If I just keep doing these things I’m doing, if I push all the right buttons and check all the right boxes, nothing bad can happen.  God is obligated to keep me from harm or loss. Entitlement is about what I feel I deserve. Gratitude is about God’s goodness, mercy, and grace!

Father, it’s about you and your unfailing love, not about me and my entitlement! I’m grateful for what your love and grace has provided, not what I thought you owed me! And I’ll praise you now simply because you’re good and you’re worthy!

In real life, we do get good stuff. We receive blessings. We’re thankful for those blessings. But in real life we also lose things, have unfulfilled expectations, and experience hurts and disappointments (remember the “Not Disappointed” series?). We experience difficulties in relationships, finances get tight, sickness comes calling.

Entitled people are neither truly happy nor fully content! Why? Because entitlement says, “I don’t deserve the bad things – I do deserve the good things – and if I don’t get what I do deserve or I get what I don’t deserve I’m unhappy!” Entitled people seem to forget that God gave us the message(s) of the Psalms partly to remind us that “God is Good, but Life is Hard, but God is Good!”

Friends, I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m just realizing I can’t live a healthy and vibrant life if I feel slighted or let down when I don’t get what I think I deserve…

And remember, I’m not ranking these kinds of Thankfulness in terms of better and worse! And I’m not treating them as a linear progression from Circumstantial to Whole Life Thankfulness. I believe they’re all legitimate ways to be Thankful and Gratitude-full.

• • Circumstantial Thankfulness – Thanks for the blessings!
  • Comparative Thankfulness – Well, I guess it could be worse!
  • Thankfulness In All Things – In Everything Give Thanks
  • Whole Life Thankfulness – I’m Thankful for my life!

The truth is:  God loves us not because we are good, but because God is good!

And here’s the corollary to that: God loves us just as we are, not just as we ought to be, because we’ll never be just as we ought to be!

In my next post we’ll look at Comparative Thankfulness. Like Circumstantial Thankfulness, it has some strong points and some weaker points, and we’ll explore that together. Stay tuned!

As always, I’d love to hear from you and I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

 

May 4, 2021

I’m not disappointed in the life my Good Father has given me, and my Good Father is not disappointed in me!

I’m going to briefly review the three previous posts on disappointment before wrapping this up. I’ve included links to each of the other three and if this series has been relevant to your location on your journey of faith, I encourage you to read through them again.

Part 1 Personal Identity Statement: I am God’s beloved child and God is not disappointed in me!

The story of how God gave me my Personal Identity Statement: “I am God’s beloved child and he is not disappointed in me!”

Part 2 Very Disappointed: We get disappointed in each other and even in ourselves sometimes.

Disappointment is based in expectations. If we get our expectations right, we can avoid a lot of disappointment. Also we need to clarify in our own minds whether we’re disappointed in the person or in a specific action or attitude. In many cases our disappointments in ourselves and others means we’ve been judging! Not recommended by Jesus.

We can learn too much from a life lesson or an experience. I had an experience when I was 17 in which I learned that my dad and my mom were very disappointed in me. I thought the lesson was that they were ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED in me and actually they were TEMOPORARILY DISAPPOINTED in my immature behavior.

Was my dad disappointed in me that night? Of course he was! Or maybe actually he was more frustrated by my behavior. I had, in a variety of ways, failed to fulfill his expectations of me, of my attitude, of my behavior. But my dad loved me and even though he said he was disappointed in me, it was actually my behavior that disappointed him. I don’t think he was wishing he could trade me in for a different son. At least I hope not!

That experience so impacted me that I apparently stuffed it away and didn’t remember it until God helped me know fifty years later that God is not disappointed in me.

Part 3 Not Disappointed: Why God is Not Disappointed in You! (LINK)

Is God disappointed in me? No!

Here’s a legitimate question: How can you say God is not disappointed in me? I’ve done a lot of things I’m disappointed in! I’ve failed to do a lot of things I should have done! Here’s how, friends! God knew exactly what to expect of us, in advance, even before we were born! So if God knows what to expect of us, and if disappointment is based in unfulfilled expectations, how could God be disappointed in you and me?

• • God’s expectations of you are that you will do exactly what he knows you will do, and he loves and accepts you anyhow! Remember disappointment is all about unfulfilled expectations. God has realistic expectations of you and me.
  • God knows where you will stumble, where you will fall, where you will disappoint yourself and others.
  • God sees you on the other side of your disappointment and God works with you from that perspective.

Don’t miss this, friends! If God is omniscient (meaning God knows everything, past, present, and future), then God won’t be disappointed when the thing he already knows is inevitable happens. God has a plan that sees us on the other side of the failure, repented, converted, and moving forward in his purpose for us.

Part 4 Not Disappointed in the Life God has Given me.

• • We get disappointed in others.
  • We get disappointed in ourselves.
  • We get disappointed in God.
  • We get disappointed in the Life God has given us.

Disappointment is sourced in unfulfilled expectations. In order to avoid disappointment, we must develop realistic expectations. Short form: Get the expectations right, eliminate the disappointment. This is simple, but it’s certainly not easy! I’m working on it…

Friends, I’m not pushing you to reach the same conclusions I have about disappointment. I’ve been working through my relationship with disappointment for most of my 78 years of life, at least for the part of those 78 years I knew what disappointment felt like. From the early part when I learned from my mom that in a world of lack, if you don’t get your hopes up, you won’t be disappointed. From the part where I learned that my behavior had made my parents “very disappointed” and I thought that they were disappointed in me rather than in my behavior. From the part where my brand of the Christian faith taught me that God was pretty much always disappointed in me because God is perfect and holy and God can’t look on “sin” and I was pretty sinful. Following that line of thinking, it seems as if God must have been really inconvenienced by the conflict between his love for me and the reality that much of the time he couldn’t really stand the sight of me. (I’m smiling here! I know better now!)

Then, in my 60’s, my journey of faith took me into regions I hadn’t traveled before, and I discovered that God was, first and foremost, my loving Father. God is my Good, Good Father. I realized that in our attempt to eliminate the mystery of faith and to encapsulate a limitless God in a completely knowable and understandable box for safekeeping, we’ve been missing a lot! At least I was missing a lot! I’m finding more and more of what I’ve been missing. And my new reality is that when I find something more, in order to embrace it fully, I often have to let go of something. You know what I mean?

What has God promised you? Find God’s Spirit-inspired, Spirit-quickened promises that are relevant to the place in your journey you find yourself and wrestle with the application of those promises to your life. This is what must form our expectations.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. (Psalm 62:5 NLT)

My soul, wait thou only upon God; For my expectation is from him. (Psalm 62:5 KJV)

My identity (a gift from God, by the way) is “I’m God’s beloved child and he’s not disappointed in me!” I’m learning to live into that day by day. I rejoice in knowing that my identity is secure when I do well and when I don’t do well, when I succeed and when I fail. I see it more clearly, more often. I get there and connect with the reality that God is not disappointed in me more often these days and I stay there longer. Someday I’ll fully live in the light of the truth that “I’m God’s beloved child and he’s not disappointed in me!”

In the meantime, I journey through the valleys and along the ridges. Sometimes I rest in green pastures and sometimes I walk through the dark valley. But it’s still me, beloved of God, accepted and approved, doing the walking and the resting.

This “Not Disappointed” series of blog posts represents processes at work for more than half a century of my life and it’s still not finished! Enjoy the trip. Safe travels!

As always, I’d love to hear from you and I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

In the previous two posts we went from Not Disappointed  to Very Disappointed. Now we’re back to “Not Disappointed and Why Not”. And this is how it stays! My Good Father is not disappointed in me, and I’m not disappointed in the life my Good Father has given me! In Not Disappointed Part 3 we’ll look at how God sees us and why God is not disappointed in us.

Expectations – Disappointment is directly tied to expectations.

• • Me: “I thought we were going to be able to do go to the beach this weekend but I have to work all weekend, and I’m so disappointed!”
  • Her: “I was depending on you to be available to look after the kids while I’m at the board meeting, but you didn’t show up! I’m so disappointed!”
  • All of us: “I’m so tired of the pandemic and lockdowns and restrictions, and it looked like we were about to be able to get back to normal! Now the cases are rising again and the restrictions are back in place! I’m so disappointed!”
  • God: “I gave you a bucket load of blessings, expecting that you would appreciate my generosity and adjust your behavior to reflect your gratitude, and now you go and break all the rules I set for you. I’m so disappointed in you!”

Disappointment is caused by unfulfilled expectations, by a failure to live up to or deliver on expectations. Does God know me? Does God know what to expect from me? If God already knows what I’m going to do, how can I disappoint God?

Look at this story of Jesus and Peter...

69 Meanwhile, Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant girl came over and said to him, “You were one of those with Jesus the Galilean.” 70 But Peter denied it in front of everyone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. 71 Later, out by the gate, another servant girl noticed him and said to those standing around, “This man was with Jesus of Nazareth.” 72 Again Peter denied it, this time with an oath. “I don’t even know the man,” he said. 73 A little later some of the other bystanders came over to Peter and said, “You must be one of them; we can tell by your Galilean accent.” 74 Peter swore, “A curse on me if I’m lying—I don’t know the man!” And immediately the rooster crowed. 75 Suddenly, Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And he went away, weeping bitterly. (Matthew 26:69-75 NLT)

Peter had brazenly insisted he would even die before denying Jesus! Jesus had predicted that before dawn the next morning, Peter would deny three times even knowing Jesus! Peter’s expectations of himself were based in ego, pride, and overconfidence. Jesus’ expectations were based in knowing Peter inside and out (and loving him unconditionally), and his foreknowledge of the things that were about to happen.

It looked to Peter like total irredeemable failure! Peter was crushed and broken and weeping bitterly in his soul-crushing disappointment in himself. It was over! He had failed! He had no further hope!

Here’s how it looked to Jesus:

31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. 32 But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers. (Luke 22:31-32 NLT)

Jesus was able to look ahead: Through desertion and betrayal, through torture and crucifixion, through death and the tomb, to resurrection and restoration on the other side. Jesus saw Peter restored and faithful, filled with the Spirit, preaching to thousands, healing the sick, strengthening the church, advancing God’s Kingdom!

But Peter had to live through it all in real time. Peter denied Jesus to a servant girl, then to another servant girl, then to a few bystanders. When Jesus’ words flashed through his mind, he was undone! Peter was broken! Peter the brave was a coward. Peter the bold was fearful. Peter the strong was weak as a kitten. And he was so disappointed in himself!

Peter was disappointed in himself, but Jesus was not disappointed in Peter! Friends, we must get this! To be disappointed would mean Jesus had an expectation different from what happened. Jesus knows you and me just as he knew Peter, friends! And he knows when we’ll disappoint ourselves. But Jesus sees us on the other side, restored, and he’s forgiven us already! In fact Jesus has big plans for us!

Jesus said to Peter, “When you are converted, strengthen your brothers.” And Peter did just that! He rose to the occasion, and along with James and John, assumed a key leadership role in the church that was birthed on Pentecost in the Upper Room. He preached boldly, he healed miraculously, he led effectively.

We get disappointed in ourselves and others, but God is not disappointed in us because God’s expectations of you and me are real and true.

Ten years ago I learned a lesson from that many-years-ago experience with my Dad when he said, “Your mother and I are very disappointed in you!” The lesson I learned was that my Mom and Dad were always very disappointed in me. The reality was in that moment they were disappointed in my behavior. And rightly so. But I learned the wrong lesson, and it in some ways affected me for the next 50 years!

Let’s be careful out there! Let’s be careful what we expect of ourselves, of others, of God, and of the life God has given us!

Prayer:

Father, Help us to grasp the truth that you’re not disappointed in us. Help us to grasp that you know everything about us, what we’ve done and what we’ll do, where we’ll fail and where we’ll fall, and that you see us on the other side of it all, restored and faithful. Grant us grace to receive your total forgiveness and full restoration. For Jesus’ sake!

Next week we’re going to dig into the “Not Disappointed” thing a little deeper. We’re going to look at four ways we get disappointed and some things we can do about each of them. Don’t miss “Not Disappointed Part 4” in next week’s blog.

As always, I’d love to hear from you and I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

Hey Everybody, if you haven’t read last week’s blog post I’d like you to read it before you read this post. You can find it here . It’s a 6 minute read.

One Saturday night when I was about seventeen years old, I came home late after a night of partying. We lived four miles from town and I often had to hitch-hike home or if I was lucky one of my friends would drop me off at our driveway on the dirt road a quarter mile from the house.

I lived apart from my folks’ house in a little travel trailer under the locust trees across the yard from the house. I could usually come in without their knowledge, but for some reason this night my dad was watching and came out to talk to me.

I remember my dad sitting on a stack of lumber in the moonlight in the driveway area between the main house and my little trailer. I know it was moonlit, because I remember the dappled shadows of the locust leaves on the ground around us. He was sitting, kind of slump-shouldered and sad or angry looking. I was standing in front of him, kind of like the defendant standing before the judge.

My dad said, “Your mother and I are very disappointed in you!”

That’s it! That’s all! That’s what I remembered fifty years later!

That happened when I was about seventeen years old. I didn’t remember it until I was in my mid-sixties and was living my way through the process of learning that God was my loving father and he was not disappointed in me. When I learned my True Personal Identity (See last week’s post) it gradually opened up my mind and my memories to something that had happened fifty years earlier, something that had clearly impacted me deeply, but something I had never remembered until after I discovered that “I’m God’s beloved child, and he’s not disappointed in me!”

I don’t want to get bogged down in the idea of repressed (suppressed?) memories or try to be an armchair psychologist, but it’s interesting that I had lived my life most always feeling that God was disappointed in me, that no matter how hard I tried, the fact remained that I “should have done better”. Not always, but most always. I didn’t feel a sense of God’s disappointment always, but often. I didn’t think that God was always disappointed in me, but that he often was disappointed in me.

Suppressed memories? I don’t know. But I do know that when I had become secure enough in God’s love for me to know that he isn’t disappointed in me, that memory came to me so clearly that I can actually relive it in my mind! And that has been a healthy and healing thing for me.

Does that story, that incident that happened over sixty years ago, that I remembered only a little over ten years ago, mean my Dad didn’t love me? Absolutely not! It means that I had frustrated him (and my Mom) to the point that they didn’t know what to do with or about me! It means that my attitude and behavior, my selfish attitude and my “childish” behavior that flew in the face of everything my Dad and Mom stood for and hoped for in their son, had deeply disappointed them. I had not fulfilled their expectations and that was a disappointment to them.

My Dad actually misspoke. In his frustration with me he said “Your mother  and I are very disappointed in you!” What he meant was “Your mother and I are very disappointed in your rotten attitude and stinking behavior!” But I heard “disappointed in you” and somehow that stuck in my soul long after the frustration and emotion my Dad and Mom were experiencing faded away.

This really makes me think about the power and lasting impact of words spoken by one in authority or in any of a range of other significant relationships. Parents, bosses, partners, siblings, teachers, think deeply and seriously about the power of your words!

My parents were born in 1917 (my Mom) and 1919 (my Dad). They were raised in poor families and were in their teens when the Great Depression hit. Their lives were simple and hard. The way they grew up shaped them and shaped how they raised my brothers and me. We’d ask, “Dad, can we get a TV?”  Dad would say, “We’ll see.” (That meant no, it would cost too much)

We learned not to anticipate or look forward to things. We learned to lower our expectations. I remember my Mom saying, “Don’t get your hopes up then you won’t be disappointed!”

I know now that my parents lived with a lot of disappointment in their lifetime. For any number of reasons, things didn’t work out the way they had expected, the way they had hoped. They made a good life, but when I look back on what I know of their growing up, their youthful enthusiasm and zeal, then the hard knocks that came along through the years, it looks like as their expectations remained unfulfilled, their disappointment level rose.

I’m sorry that for a season, I contributed to raising their disappointment level. But that wasn’t a lasting thing. And even though we didn’t see each other much in the final years of their lives, because Jean and I lived outside the US for almost the last two decades of their lives, they were proud of the person I had become.

Did my Dad and I finish our relationship that way – me rebellious and him disappointed? Not at all. Our relationship matured through the years, mostly as I matured through the years. Thirty years after that night, when I was around five years older than my Dad was on that night, our relationship was a relationship of mutual love and respect. He was pleased (Not Disappointed) in me! I knew he loved and respected me and I loved and respected him.

There’s some really important lessons to be learned from the whole “disappointment” thing, you know? And one of the important lessons to be learned is not to learn too much from our lessons! Are you wondering what I mean by that? Mark Twain said, “A cat that sits on a hot stove lid will never sit on a hot stove lid again. But neither will it sit on a cold stove lid!”

Next week we’re going to dig into the “Not Disappointed” thing a little deeper. We’re going to look at the reason God is Not Disappointed in you and me. Don’t miss “Not Disappointed Part 3” in next week’s blog.

As always, I’d love to hear from you and I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

 

 

 

Not Disappointed Part 1

A few years ago I had the privilege of spending five days at a hotel near the airport on the outskirts of Atlanta with a group of pastors and leaders from around the US in an intensive training workshop called “ReFocusing.” A good friend who was part of the ReFocusing team invited me to attend a workshop they were hosting on their home turf. I was in a season of significant transition (seems like I’m always in a season of significant transition!) and it was so very timely for me to be in that intense environment! I spent most of those five days at a round table with four other leaders from very diverse backgrounds. Along with the other five tables of five ministers in the hotel meeting room, we represented a broad spectrum of the Christian church in America.

As is true with most well-presented seminars, there were lots of charts and slides for the screen and there were notebooks with “fill-in-the-blanks” spaces. We received many hours of solid teaching about very practical steps and actions we as leaders could take and also lead our churches in to “Re-Focus” our lives and ministries on the specific mission and calling God has for us. As I said, it was a very timely and appropriate week for me and an experience for which I’ll always be grateful.

I spent hours on those five days listening and learning, speaking and sharing with men and women in Christian leadership with whom I hadn’t thought I had much “common ground”. But as we talked and listened, as we learned more about each other and about our respective faith journeys, it was clear that we had the common ground of faith in Jesus Christ, of a sense of God’s specific calling to serve, and of commitment to God’s Kingdom work in our generation.

I came away from that experience more focused on my specific calling and purpose. But I was also more accepting and respectful of others whose background and doctrinal framework and ministry focus is a little or a lot different from mine. I came away determined to be more diligent at seeking common ground with those with whom I serve, and with those I want to help.

But there was much more to the week than lectures and slides and charts; more than talking and listening at the tables; there was even more than the very enjoyable lunches together at nearby restaurants.

On the next to last day of our workshop, the Refocusing team prepared us for and led us into an activity called “Developing Your Personal Identity Statement.” This was not about fine-tuning and focusing your ministry, not about learning how to do your ministry job better, not about filling in the gaps in your ministry training, but about becoming clear on your identity as a person. It was not about what you do, but solely about who you are.

After a morning of instruction and discussion, we were sent out of the room on our own for 90 minutes to connect with God and with our inner selves and write a simple statement of identity. And we were firmly instructed “Don’t come back without your Personal Identity Statement!” So the pressure was on!

I should make it clear that attending this workshop this was a God-provided gift that impacted a significant season of change and a larger process that was going on in me. Much had changed in my life in the previous few months. A ministry season and task that I loved very much and felt I was actually good at had come to an end. I was in my mid-60’s and I was thinking about the first half and second half of my life. I was thinking about what I want to be when I grow up.

A good friend back home in Bend had recently introduced me to the teaching and writing of Fr. Brennan Manning. I’d read his well-known book “Ragamuffin Gospel”, and soon (this is a story in itself) found myself devouring his latest book, Abba’s Child. This was a pivotal season in my life and the writings of Brennan Manning on relationship with God as Father and the teaching of Fr. Richard Rohr on transitioning between the First and Second Half of Life had become something of a pathway through the wilderness for me.

It was a beautiful Atlanta Autumn day and I decided to do my personal identity discovery walking around the perimeter of the hotel complex. The hotel was in a wooded area and apart from the roar of planes taking off and landing at ATL, it was almost like one of my daily walks in the woods here in Central Oregon. By the way, I think better, more clearly, and more creatively, and I generally pray better when I’m walking outdoors. Especially if there’s no one around to think I’m an old crazy guy talking to myself!

The pressure was on! By the time the hour and a half was finished, I had to have a Personal Identity Statement! I had to develop the statement, write it down, and be prepared to reveal my God-given unique and personal identity to that group of men and women I’d been talking with and listening to for the past five days. I needed to know who I am!

My process was pretty much my usual approach to listening for God’s message to me: I reviewed what had been happening in the seminar, what I was processing in terms of things that were happening in my life, things I was hopeful or anxious about. As usual, I tried to frame my thoughts and concerns into questions to ask God, then when I’d expressed myself as clearly as I could, I walked and waited and listened. All this in the context of knowing that I had to have a Personal Identity Statement and be able to share it with my table and the clock was ticking.

Somewhere in that process, the inaudible but unmistakable Voice whispered these words: “I’m God’s beloved child and he is not disappointed in me.” Such a sense of joy and acceptance flooded over me! At some point in the days yet ahead of me I realized that those words were the essence of what I had been reading and hearing and trying to grasp for several months, that God is not only my Dear Lord, God is my Loving Father! And that God’s love for me is not based in my performance, in fulfilling his expectations of me, but it is entirely based in his Fatherhood, in his unconditional acceptance of me for who I am!

Friends, it’s been more than ten years since that afternoon when my identity became “God’s beloved child in whom he is not disappointed”! Over the years, I realize that truth more often, I get to that point more quickly, and I am gradually able to hold on to the reality of that identity for longer at a time. I’ve still got a long way to go to live the fullness of that God-given identity. But I’ve got the rest of my life to get there!

My identity, my truest identity, is found solely in a relationship with the God who created me, loved me, gave himself for my redemption, and wants nothing more for me than that I live in the light of his love and let his love flow through me to others.

Whether you’re at the stage of your journey I’m at now or the stage I was at that Autumn day in Atlanta, or even if you’re at a different place in your journey altogether, here are some things I want for you:

• I want you to be on a journey of faith. I want you to be learning and growing and changing and dissatisfied with “settling.”
• I want you to have a Personal Identity Statement of some sort that is not about what you do or have done or hope to do, but about who you are in relationship to a loving Father God.
• I want you to never fear the truth. I want you to ask questions, have deep conversations with God and others, use your imagination, listen for the whispers of “The Voice.”

And I want you to read this blog post thoughtfully and then I want you not to miss my post next week “Not Disappointed Part 2”. I couldn’t put all I want to say in this post, so please don’t miss the rest of it!

As always, I’d love to hear from you and I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

 

 

When Jean and I moved from London to Central Oregon in October of 1999, we lived for twenty months in a small cabin in the woods south of Bend on the Fall River. It’s in a fairly remote area of forest west of La Pine State Park, mostly lodge pole and jack pine with some majestic old growth Ponderosas standing above the other trees. That little cabin is about thirty-two miles and one universe away from where we live now in Bend!

It had been over a year since we had been down there and because this April Friday was one of the warmest days so far this season, Jean and Buddy and I drove down there to look around and walk in the woods. We thought most of the snow would be gone and we might be able to get in without much trouble. It’s a little over two miles of pretty bad forest road after turning off the paved highway. We only saw one other vehicle in the few hours and several miles we drove and walked back there in the woods.

We parked the Explorer in a clearing beside the dirt road. There were no tire tracks but ours since the winter snows had melted. Our footprints in the dirt were the only human prints, the only ones besides deer, coyote, and bobcat. Buddy eagerly sniffed the air for deer scent and the ground for chipmunks and squirrels. There were still a few patches of snow on the shaded north side of trees and rocks. I’d forgotten how alive the forest sounds and feels with the wind blowing through the tops of the Ponderosa pines. I kept wanting to look up and over my shoulder to see who was just behind us. The sense of “The Presence” is so strong in the woods!

As we walked and talked Jean began to remind us of how God had provided in such surprising and appropriate ways when we moved from inner-city London to this remote place in the Central Oregon woods. He provided a place to live, a vehicle to drive, and an increase in financial support that was exactly enough to meet our needs.

God had given us a season of solitude there in the woods to restore our weary souls and enough ministry opportunities and interaction with people that we didn’t lose complete contact with the real world.

The cabin in the woods had been available to us for as long as we needed it. The owner of the house provided a man with a snow plow to keep the more than two miles of forest road open through the winter so we could get in and out. When the road got so bad for a month that our four-wheel-drive Ford Explorer couldn’t negotiate it, God provided the loan of a larger, taller truck that handled the mud and snow without any problem.

As we walked along the forest paths that April day, we thanked God for his provision during that wonderful season of solitude. We spoke blessing on the friends God used to provide for us during the time we lived on the Fall River. We talked about other seasons and experiences of God’s faithfulness to us. Our faith grew stronger. My eyes grew brighter. As we walked and talked, and the wind soughed  in the pine trees along the old logging road, the sense of “Presence” remained strong.

Throughout that season of change and transition, our faith was stretching and strengthening, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time. God was working deeply (and a little painfully!) in us to clear away accumulated layers of grime and rust from our souls. That day walking in the woods beside the Fall River, we began looking forward with fresh eyes and hopeful hearts to the surprising and appropriate ways God would direct us into a new season and provide once again in surprising and appropriate ways! It’s who God is. It’s what God does!

Looking back to that moment from the vantage point of years and experiences and miles and ministry, I can still remember that strong sense of “The Presence” I felt that day as the wind blew through the tops of the pines. I kept wanting to look up or look behind me to see who’s there!

That spot on that old logging road beside the Fall River is more difficult to reach now. Elimination of roads by the Forest Service, selective logging, and gates across the remaining road mean it takes more effort to go there. But we still drive out there and park in the woods and walk out to the spot. It was a sacred moment of sensing God’s faithful presence and the spot seems sacred as well.

Sometimes I hesitate to tell about my experiences of “The Presence.” I hesitate because those times are very personal. I hesitate because of the temptation to try and replicate spiritual experiences through copying others’ practices. I hesitate because sometimes people can feel “left out” if they don’t have the same experiences. But I’m going to tell you a couple of things that just may be helpful, and if they aren’t, please feel free to disregard them.

I still have places I go and practices I do to connect with God’s felt presence. It’s not a mechanism or a ritual, but it’s a choice to go to the place and a choice to quiet myself and open the eyes and ears of my soul in case God wants to drop by and say “I love you”!

I’m convinced that study and knowledge and doctrinal interpretation are helpful and necessary to provide a framework to hang our beliefs on, a foundation to build our faith on, and a structure to contain our experiences. But those structural things can become dead and dry and empty if we don’t have experiences of the things we believe, if we don’t have the experience of the “Presence”.

For me, there are two significant components of preparing myself and my heart for God encounters. First is creating a place, a space, in my mind, my schedule, my practices. This is the inner landscape of my life. Second is finding places and practices to make myself available to whatever God does or does not want to do. This is the outer landscape.

First, the inner landscape. I make time in my day. For many years that involved rising very early. Now, with a more flexible schedule, it means setting a time and making the effort to be available. It means shutting out other stuff. I know that listening to music can sooth your soul, and listening to podcasts can help you learn new things. That has its place. But it’s most often noisier than God’s quiet whisper and gentle nudge. (1 Kings 19:7-18)  I find it helpful to carry on a conversation with God much of my day. Either in my thoughts if others are around or aloud if it’s just me and Jake the Dog in the desert. Lots of stream of consciousness words and thoughts to God. Lots of questions to God about all sorts of things (Don’t forget to stop talking and listen when you’re asking questions). Listen for God to answer in what you see, in conversations with others, in words from songs, in scriptures, and even in dialog from movies!

Second, the outer landscape. Jean and I are so fortunate to live where we live in Central Oregon! Forested mountains to the west and spacious juniper and sagebrush desert to the east. Winter limits our access to the mountains west, but the desert east is accessible pretty much year round. If you don’t live in Central Oregon, it doesn’t mean you’re out of luck! We’ve always been able to find somewhere! Neighborhood walks, parks, trails, backyards. In London there were churches we could go into and sit in silence, bathed in the glow of light through the stained glass windows. Make the effort, be creative, find a place.

Friends, I’m not talking about “on demand” encounters with God. I’m talking about putting yourself in a frame of mind and a place of access. God is a communicating God and God wants to communicate with his beloved children! That’s you and me!

You and I make ourselves available, with a hungry heart and an open mind and God will show up in his time and his manner. Keep your eyes open. Keep your ears open. Be hungry and thirsty for “The Presence”!

As always, I’d love to hear from you and I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

 

2 GOD then told Elijah, 3 “Get out of here, and fast. Head east and hide out at the Kerith Ravine on the other side of the Jordan River. 4 You can drink fresh water from the brook; I’ve ordered the ravens to feed you.” 5 Elijah obeyed GOD’s orders. He went and camped in the Kerith canyon on the other side of the Jordan. 6 And sure enough, ravens brought him his meals, both breakfast and supper, and he drank from the brook. 7 Eventually the brook dried up because of the drought. 8 Then GOD spoke to him: 9 “Get up and go to Zarephath in Sidon and live there. I’ve instructed a woman who lives there, a widow, to feed you.” (1 Kings 17:2-9 The Message)

1 Kings 17 is the full story of the brook that dries up and the widow who lived in Zarephath. You can read it here.

When Jean and I and our daughters moved from Oregon to Jamaica to serve as missionaries in 1984 it was a leap of faith. The organization we were working with in the US was a loosely connected group of independent churches mostly in the Southeast. During the summer of 1984 we moved to Springfield, MO and began traveling the southern states to connect personally with the pastors and the congregations. It was hard work, we were traveling in borrowed vehicles (There are some miracle stories there!), and we were mostly well received by the churches.

Our departure from the US that fall would be through Miami, so we made a couple of trips from Springfield to Miami that summer: 1) to buy a car to ship later to Jamaica after we got settled a bit. 2) to deal with the Jamaica High Commission in Miami to get work permits, residency visas, and all the other myriad details that are necessary to live in another country. That summer was filled with challenges and pressure. There were some sudden and significant obstacles thrown up in our path, but God led us safely (if not always comfortably) through the complicated maze of red tape.

During our seven years in Jamaica, first pastoring a church in Linstead, St Catherine, a market town in the center of the island, then developing an interdenominational Bible Training Centre in Kingston, God provided faithfully (but again not always comfortably) for our needs. Initially getting the car shipped into the country, finding a safe place to live, making high school arrangements for our daughter Melissa, money for the rent, food for the table. Big challenges, but God provided!

In time the loose coalition of churches that had supported us fell apart. God gave us new connections and relationships, we made the move to Kingston, and the Bible Training Centre ministry took hold quickly and flourished! Then, by the end of 1991, it was clear that the Bible Training Centre could grow and flourish without us. We chose Pam Johnson, sister of Al Miller, whose organization was sponsoring our work permits and visas by then, to lead Whole Life Ministries Bible Training Centre. Under Pam’s leadership the school continued to flourish. A lot of flourishing going on!

It became clear that our next God assignment was to move to the UK and start an international and interdenominational Bible Training Centre in London! That’s a pretty scary thing to think about!

Sidebar: Keep in mind that all this was before the internet, before email, and when mobile phones were either car phones or bag phones! Communication was hard, expensive, and often slow, and sometimes simply unreliable! Can you remember what life was like then? Were you born yet?

We had left Jamaica and were staying in Atlanta while we prepared for our long-anticipated move to London. We rented a house with our two daughters in Tucker, GA, on the East side of Atlanta and were connected to a church there. Jean and I were traveling far and wide to raise support for our new undertaking. Living in the UK would be very expensive compared to Jamaica. And this time we didn’t even have the “loosely connected coalition of independent churches” we’d had a few years earlier when we were preparing for the move to Jamaica.

Over the years in Jamaica and the months in the US as we prepared, we had become accustomed to support coming from churches and friends around the US in the form of checks in the mail. We eagerly awaited the postman’s visit each day. But nothing was happening! We really didn’t know what to do! The clock was ticking, the calendar pages were turning, and we simply weren’t getting the resources we needed to prepare for the move to London. It was taking everything that came in just to meet the ongoing needs of the moment.

Jean went down the drive to the mailbox on a particular day and the only thing in the box was a red envelope that looked like advertising. She was just about to throw it away unopened when she noticed it was addressed to us and not to occupant or current resident. And then she saw it was from Jamaica Telephone and Telegraph. It was a telegram! I’m not sure we’d ever received a telegram!

It was a telegram from Pam Johnson in Kingston Jamaica! Pam said she was praying for us and felt prompted to tell us that God would faithfully provide. She quoted from 1 Kings 17:2-7, the story in which God directed the prophet Elijah to camp by a brook in the wilderness, eat food that God-sent ravens brought, and drink from the brook. But the brook dried up and God had already prepared another way to provide for Elijah! Pam’s words were so encouraging! It was a defining moment for us!

Our brook had dried up! But God was still committed to providing for our needs and the needs and requirements of the ministry he had assigned us in the UK. Something changed in that moment. What changed? We changed!

We took another step toward the conviction that God and God alone is our source. We realized that we were on God’s payroll. However the provision came, whether through a handful of supporting churches for a season, through individual friends and family members for a season, through gifts from unexpected places in the in-between times, God is our source! God promised us that he would always provide!

When we read Pam’s telegram, there was no sudden influx of funds for our preparation for the London move. In fact, when we left for the Atlanta airport a few months later to fly to London Heathrow to take the leap into the unknown, it was a surprise stop at a bank by our driver that provided the money for our first month’s rent and groceries in Leytonstone, East London! But when we read Pam’s telegram, “when the brook dries up, God has another channel of provision prepared” something changed in our hearts, in our worldview, in our faith! And while it wasn’t overnight, it was enough.

That conviction, that God will provide, has become how we see the world, how we’ve lived for the past thirty-plus years. We’re on God’s payroll. God has prepared and provided dozens, even hundreds of channels big and small in the years since that day. And we’ve thanked God for every one! And we’re moved to tears of gratitude when we think of those who have loved us and cared for us and shared their resources with us along the way.

The key lesson for Jean and me in the story about Pam Johnson’s telegram and her message to us that when the brook dries up God has another way to provide, isn’t about ravens or brooks or even widows whose flour and oil never run out! It’s that God is always our source!

Some of you reading this are among those who have been channels, gracious, generous channels of God’s faithful provision for us! I wish you could know the gentle tears of joy and gratitude your generosity has brought! I wish you could hear the blessings pronounced on you and the thankful prayers that we’ve prayed for you!

Here’s a thought for you: Just as God was faithful to provide for Elijah through the ravens and the brook, and just as God was faithful to provide for him through the widow whose flour and oil containers always had enough for one more meal, God provides for all who place themselves on God’s payroll. Whether it’s through paychecks or direct deposits, whether through salaries or “hourlies”, God is faithful. God is faithful to you!

If you’re facing challenges and uncertainties, ask God to confirm to you that when the brook dries up, he has another channel of his faithful provision just for you. And remember, if you’re on God’s payroll, he’s the boss!

As always, I’d love to hear from you and I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

 

 

 

No Place Else On Earth

When Jean and I signed on as administrators for the Cascade District of our denomination (an area covering Central, Eastern and Southern Oregon and Southwest Idaho), we asked our predecessor, Sim Ogle, to give us a brief history on each of the churches in the district and a brief bio on their pastors. Bob and Carol Richardson had pastored and led the little Foursquare Church in Myrtle Creek, Oregon for about 11 years. Bob and Carol both had serious health challenges, she with arthritis, and he with back and leg trouble from years working in the sawmill in nearby Ritter, Oregon.

At some point, we realized it was time to close the Myrtle Creek church. Attendance had leaked away and by now the only people attending were relatives of Bob and Carol who lived 25 miles away in Roseburg and drove to Myrtle Creek on Sundays just for the services. In fact, Bob and Carol also lived in Roseburg to be nearer their family and their health care. At this point there was no local outreach and there were no local people attending. Bob and Carol had served the church well and faithfully and at one time the church had served a reasonably thriving community well. But the thriving was long past, both in the church and the community.

As the decision to close the church took shape, we felt we should go visit them and give them what encouragement we could and help them walk through the process of church closing. So on one of our weekends of ministry in nearby Roseburg, we arranged to meet Bob and Carol at the church property in Myrtle Creek on Monday morning and let them show us around, then go to the Casino restaurant at Canyonville, five miles to the south to have lunch together.

We checked out of our motel in Roseburg that morning, and drove south on Interstate 5 the 20 miles to the Myrtle Creek exit. We followed our GPS to the address of the little church building. The building was dated but clean and nice. In a few minutes the Pastors arrived and we met them, then spent the next hour and more being shown around their church building. They loved their little building. It was a bit threadbare and worn, but very clean and tidy. Technology certainly hadn’t taken over in the Myrtle Creek church! In fact, they still had an overhead projector for projecting the hand-written transparencies on the screen during worship. All the rooms were clean and cared for, but the building was beginning to take on an air of disuse.

You see, the Sunday morning attendance was only nine people, including Bob and Carol! And the other seven who attended were members of their family who drove down from Roseburg each Sunday morning simply out of love for Bob and Carol. They had no presence in the small community. The building was only occupied for a little over an hour a week on Sunday morning. They had closed their midweek service a couple of years before because even their faithful family members weren’t making it down from Roseburg—work and kids school homework and weather in the winter months.

I took lots of photos of the building, inside and out, and pictures of Bob and Carol standing in front of the building. Then we invited them to have lunch with us at the only eating place nearby, the casino at Canyonville, 10 miles further down Interstate 5. We followed them to the Interstate, then exited behind them at Canyonville, and parked beside each other at the casino. We got a very nice booth, had a very nice lunch, spent the next two-plus hours asking questions and listening to their story.

The time we spent with Bob and Carol in that restaurant booth was good, but bittersweet. As we asked questions and listened and asked more questions about their lives and their family and their health and their sacrifices and their ministry to their aging congregation, there were quite a few tears – mostly their tears but some tears in our eyes as well. Much of the story had to do with the collapse of the lumber industry and the closing of the mill with nothing to replace it, and people leaving the area to find work elsewhere. And for most of their time at the church there were more funerals than weddings. In fact there were many funerals and very few baby dedications. We were reminded once again that while our systems recognize and reward success and growth, God recognizes and rewards faithfulness!

One story led to another and time was passing quickly. We still had a more than 4-hour drive to get home that evening. At one point I almost said, “Well, it’s been so good to meet with you and learn about the good things God has done through you and the ministry of your church in Myrtle Creek. But we really need to get going!” But I didn’t! We kept listening to the stories and asking questions that led to more stories and we were afraid the casino would start charging us rent on the booth!

As we sat there listening and simply being present with them, I processed my internal conflict between staying a little longer and getting on the road to home and for some much-needed rest and catching up on things we’d left undone while spending Friday through Monday in Southern Oregon. Then the Good Shepherd spoke to my heart in that inaudible but unmistakable whisper he uses with me, “There’s no place else on earth that’s more important for you to be than right here right now!”

Jean and I talked about that once we were on the road headed back to Bend. That has become one of my clearest messages from God and the time in Myrtle Creek that morning with Bob and Carol at the church building and in Canyonville that afternoon in the booth at the restaurant became a defining moment in my life. My values adjusted a couple of clicks closer to God’s values that day.

About two weeks later, we were able to come to Roseburg to the thriving church there and have a ten-minute slot in the morning service. We honored Bob and Carol in front of their seven person, all family congregation who sat together on the front row, and before the entire congregation of New Life Church. We brought Bob and Carol up on the platform and honored them for the faithful work they had done in Myrtle Creek, and even gave them a plaque to honor their service. Then we laid hands on them and prayed for them and 250 or so people stood and applauded them! No one had ever honored them like that in their entire lives! And at that moment, just like the moment a couple of weeks earlier in the booth in the restaurant in Canyonville, there was no place else on earth that it was more important for us to be!

Here’s some of what I took away from my God encounter in the restaurant booth that day, my discussions with Jean on the road back to Bend, and processing through the season of radical change and transition in our lives since that time:

• • There are moments that are more important for us than anything else that’s happening, any place else on earth at the time!
  • Sometimes those moments are thrust on us.
  • Sometimes we or others create those moments, intentionally or unintentionally, not realizing how significant those moments will be.
  • Sometimes we have an opportunity to create a moment like that for someone.
  • Sometimes those moments may involve a little inconvenience or sacrifice.
  • We need God-given sensitivity and awareness to recognize those moments as they are happening, not after they’ve ended and it’s too late!

Don’t miss the moments! Don’t rush through them or be in a hurry to get on the road, or out the door, or on to the next thing in your busy life. Those moments could be the most important moments of all to someone. And every one of those moments can be an opportunity for God to teach you or transform you.

Ask God to give you moments in which “There’s No Place Else On Earth It’s More Important To Be Than Right Here Right Now!”

 As always, I’d love to hear from you and I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

 See you back here next week!

 

 

It was a frosty early Sunday morning when I started out for my morning walk. From my porch the path to the park looked like it could be pretty slippery so I wasn’t sure when I started if I’d walk far. It turned out to be fine and before long I was walking along the trail in the park. Jake the Dog trotted along beside me, sniffing and peeing on every bush and shrub he could reach at the end of the leash.

It’s not unusual to encounter another walker on my early morning walks, but that morning, the park and the path were all mine! Jake and I have a kind of tacit agreement that if there’s no one in or near the park, I let him off the leash as we walk the loop inside the park. It’s his responsibility to keep his eyes on the park area and if another person enters the park, with or without canine accompaniment, he comes to me to have his leash reattached. He’s never let me down on this agreement, so we have a high degree of trust on the matter.

I guess I was kind of lost in thought and dialoging with God the way I do when I get my mind quiet enough. I was saying something like, “Father, I don’t think I know nearly as much as I used to. My mind used to be full of the certainties of youth. Pretty much everything was black or white, good or bad, right or wrong. I used to be certain about almost everything. Now my thoughts are full of the questions of age. I’m certain of far fewer things than I used to be. I’m realizing I don’t have all the answers. But I sure have plenty of questions!” I was just rattling on, telling God things God already knew but really doesn’t mind hearing again. Jake was trotting here and there, sniffing and peeing and keeping his eyes open for other park walkers.

Suddenly! (I don’t have any other way to say it!) Suddenly the sun rose over my left shoulder and the frosty path ahead of me exploded into sparkles of brilliant ice jewels!  I kept walking a few steps along the pavement of diamonds. Then I stopped and just stood there staring at it all. It was incredibly beautiful! It was the kind of beauty that a phone camera, even a good camera, won’t capture. And as I waited, it began to seem like a holy moment. Or at least that it could be if I didn’t rush on.

After a few moments, I said, “Father, is there something you want to say to me in this moment?” Then I waited. In a moment this came to me: “Stay on the path. Be aware. Be fully present. Stay on the path and keep walking.”

As I stood quietly and expectantly, I began to hear the winter birds singing to the sunrise. I felt the cold breeze on my right cheek and the warm sun on my left cheek. I looked ahead and the wood chip path stretched out like a river of diamonds. I saw the cloud of vapor as I breathed. I stood there maybe five minutes, until my legs were getting cold (I was dressed to speak at church later in the morning).

Then I started walking toward home on a path of diamonds. The path sparkled all the way home, except for a short section that lay in shade. But I knew the beauty was there, even as I walked in the shadows. I knew this incredible beauty would only last a few minutes. The same rising sun that turned the frost to diamonds would melt the frost and take it all away in minutes. But it was mine for the moment, if I was willing to give my full attention to the moment at hand! Jake rejoined me and I clicked the leash onto his collar. I tried briefly to call his attention to the beauty of the moment, but Jake was present in his own moment when a couple of doves landed in the branches of a tree just ahead.

I can’t remember what I spoke on at church a couple of hours later that morning. I hope my message was memorable and helpful to my hearers. But I’m still processing the experience on the path.

I realize this is all very subjective and I’m not doing “chapter and verse” stuff here. You can find a lot of my “chapter and verse” approach to the application of scripture to our lives in my daily “GraceNotes”, devotionals here. But I’ve also realized if my faith and my relationship with God is all and only about “chapter and verse”, I can become just as legalistic and Pharisaical as the folks who resisted Jesus throughout his ministry and who ultimately campaigned for his crucifixion. Encounters with God’s presence and insights from the Holy Spirit are a significant part of keeping my faith alive and functioning!

I’m still processing “Stay on the path!” I started a new segment of my Journey of Discovery a little over ten years ago, during a time of significant and often painful transition. I had help from a good friend who walked with me through the early part of that “path.” I had insights gained from conversations with friends, from books I read, from teaching I received. I had encouragement from my wife and family who didn’t always understand the what and why of my process, but who knew my heart and encouraged me along the way. I’m very much aware that this Journey of Discovery continues to be my path!

I’m still processing how my communication with God used to be mostly about getting needs met, getting answers to things, and reinforcing all my certainties. It’s now much more about learning to let go of unimportant certainties, learning to be at peace with uncertainties, and learning to trust in God’s goodness. Much of the energy that I used to put into looking for answers that provided certainty now goes into looking for how to ask the questions that lead to heart transformation and hope. The path, much like the mercies of God, is new every morning!

I’m still processing the importance of being fully present in the moment. For me that means getting out of bed and going out to the desert in the early morning, or if I can’t do that, at least taking a walk in the park. It means less TV and more conversations and contemplations. It means slowing down for some moments each day and just “being” – not listening to music, not reading, not being entertained, just “being” still. It means intentionally cultivating God awareness through what has become nearly constant conversations (in my head and heart) with my Father. I’m still on the path! I wouldn’t trade the path for anything, friends!

If I hadn’t made the effort to walk that morning, none of this encounter would have happened. The frost would have been on the ground. The sun would have risen in exactly the same spot. The diamonds would have sparkled in the path. But I wouldn’t have seen it! I wouldn’t have experienced that moment of grace! I wouldn’t have heard God say to me, “Stay on the path!”

As always, I welcome your comments and questions. If you’re reading on the blog, leave a comment below. If you’re reading from the email, click “Reply” and tell me what you’re thinking.

I’m planning to write more about stuff I’m learning on my journey. I’d love to know if you find that helpful.

Grace and Peace! Jim

 

Thanks so much for your replies and comments for last week’s blog post, An Opportunity Missed! It seems to have struck a chord with many of you and it’s kept me thinking about not only that opportunity missed, but a pattern in my life through the years. If you missed the post you can read it here.

I had been pondering this stuff about opportunities and “things left undone” as I prepared and wrote the blog post. (I call it pondering. Others close to me call it overthinking everything!) Here’s the thing, I’m an introvert. When I was a kid, before the concept of Introverts and Extraverts was common, I was a “shy kid.” Anyhow, as I was thinking it through, it began to make sense to me that my introversion was one of the reasons I missed my opportunity to learn from Oren Aldritch and to enjoy a relationship with him in his final years. Then my attorney friend Jacques DeKalb responded to last week’s post with some thoughts about why people like him, also an introvert, and me, sometimes miss those opportunities.

I know that my introversion has been a significant factor in shaping my life and my relationships. But I also realize that in spite of my introversion, I have done some “non-introverted” things through the years. I owned and operated businesses that were customer relations intensive, I was drawn to Christian ministry, and I’ve been doing public speaking since my teens. My military story and my tour of duty in Vietnam were also shaped by intentionally pushing the boundaries of my introversion. So while being an introvert is a legitimate part of who I am, it doesn’t have to dictate my entire story!

When my friend Jacques responded to my blog post and we began a series of email communications here’s what I realized: A very legitimate personality characteristic like being an introvert can be a reason for not reaching out. But if it keeps me from making the extra effort it requires to engage with my world and its opportunities, it has become an excuse!

I’ve included (with permission) my email communication thread with Jacques. This has been very clarifying for me and I can see its application in other areas of life beyond dealing with shyness. I’ve edited our conversation for length. If you haven’t read the blog post I’m referring to take three minutes and read it here.

Jacques DeKalb: It seems to me that “missed opportunities” is the curse of the introvert. As I look back on my own life, I see, and regret, so many relational opportunities I missed or failed to advance toward in my personal relationships, my spiritual life and my career. Lately, God has been helping me get beyond that innate shyness which is really a level of fear of stepping out, of drawing attention to myself. My deepest regret is that I didn’t recognize sooner that God could help me with this weakness. I have no desire to become an extravert, but I do desire the courage and faith to be bold when it’s called for in my relationships with others.

My Response: Hi Jacques! So good to hear from you! I’ve had many conversations with myself about the role my introversion has played in my “missed opportunities” through the years. It’s interesting that, for me, my introversion is a completely separate thing from my public speaking. Speaking in front of a group can be energizing for me but trying to speak to someone seated next to me on a plane (they still have those don’t they?) or in a waiting room is exhausting. Like you, I’ve realized that God can help me with pushing through the “impenetrable barrier” of introversion.

Jacques: Jim, I never had a problem speaking to jurors or at conferences either. I’ve read that many actors deal with introversion, but can step up when called upon. To me, it seems that if I have some authority or a specific responsibility in a situation, then I can be more outgoing. One on one with strangers is not easy at all.

I was about age 35 when my very outgoing secretary let me know that introverts were just as good as extroverts and I began to be more comfortable in my skin. I read that 20% of humans are introverts. I have read, too, about the introverts on bank boards of directors that felt like they were never heard when they warned about inadequately secured housing loan schemes. The extraverts just rolled right over them.

I think there are many introverted heroes in the Bible, starting with Moses. Maybe all the minor prophets. Jesus was not energized by crowds, but needed time alone with his father to be able to follow the course. I think of the widow touching Jesus’ robe in the press of the crowd. He was aware of energy being drawn from him. Probably every act of healing drew energy from Jesus such that he had to seek time alone with God to be restored. It’s a common trait of introverts to get energy from being alone. Extroverts need the energy of crowds.

Bless you, Jim, for being bold about missing real treasures. I have missed so many myself! On the other hand, being introverted has also kept me out of a lot of trouble! I thank God for that!

My Response: Thanks, Jacques! I’m starting to think you should be writing this instead of me! (As it turns out we both have had a hand in this post!)

So what do we do with this stuff? This is something I’ll be thinking about and processing for a while! Being an introvert is a reason, a legitimate reason, for having a hard time reaching across the invisible barrier it creates. It’s a reason for why it’s difficult to act or speak up, but if we don’t make the effort, climb out of our cave, step up and smile a smile and speak some words, it becomes an excuse. I’m committing, as Jacques says above, to looking to God for the courage and faith to be bold when it’s called for in my relationships with others.

There can be other things we find difficult or that we struggle with. Often it’s just too easy to allow the reason for the difficulty to become an excuse for not acting, not embracing the opportunity. Most any personality characteristic, strength or weakness, like or dislike, can be a reason that we do or don’t do things. But if that characteristic or preference keeps us from doing things we know we should do, things we feel prompted to do, a perfectly good reason becomes a very costly excuse.

What does this stir up in you? What “reasons” do you find easy to turn into “excuses”? We know beyond doubt that God loves us and accepts us just as we are. But we also know God loves us too much to leave us just as we were! So let’s reject the excuses and draw on God’s gracious enablement to “Just Do It!”

As always, I welcome your comments or questions. If you’re reading this in the email, you can simply click reply and respond. If you’re reading it on the blog at https://jimastephens.com, you can respond in the comments section at the end. Thanks for reading!